How to do things #4: How to have fun when your parents aren't home!

So recently I have found out that most of my readers are either children between the ages of 4 and 10 which are the ages when the kid can sort of read but has no understanding of quality, and the droves of men and women they are warned to stay away from.

Above: the two kinds of people who read my blog

So today I figure I should write a blog catering to these kind of people, because even though they are my core reader group they're still leaving me. Now my first idea was to give out candy to random children or post child pron on my blog but both would get me registered by the fbi, and even though I am an awful sexual deviant I am not a pedophile, the reason they'remsexual charectaristics aren't big enough for me.  So instead I will tell you how to have fun without your parents! Ps if anyone would give my blog more views and comments if I posted child porn I'll do it.

Step: 1. Feeling lonely because you don't have/hate/knocked out/killed you siblings, well just smash the tv.This is because when the tv is smashed all the people inside it will come out and be your friends, and like all good friends they may even try to give/sell you drugs (10 year olds watch breaking bad a lot right?) also if your a pathetic chan user who undoubtedly lives with their parents then you can smash open the tv when your waifu is on it!

Step 2: Drink the chemicals under the sink! You know how your parents don't want you to drink alcohol but it'smorally really fun to drink, well your parents don't want you to drink bleach even more. This means that drinking bleach and other assorted cleaning products are fun, besides your parents are probably drinking it when your asleep!

Step 3: Make a fire in your living room! Remember monsters hate light almost as much as they hate parents or the JSDF, so to make sure you aren't attacked by monsters you should make as much light as possible, so turn on every light and set a fire in your living room. He'll just set the house on fire, not only will make monsters stay away from your house it will also kill anything inside the house and remember anything could be a monster!

Above:A monster and human free home!

 Step 4:Go on the Internet without your parent's permission! You remember how disney.com always asks you to ask a parent before going on the Internet. Well don't listen to them, in fact disney.com is a porn site if you don't ask your parents, he'll by some hookers if you want to and roleplay that they're your parents!

Facts about: The Internet!

   Hey totally Kool dudes and dudettes wanna hear about something radical and will be blowin ya mind yo yo yo! Not not drugs, the Internet!

Pictured above: an Internet.

 Now you may be asking me, what is the Internet, or how do you use it, or where am I and why is there a dead prostitute.( I know most of you are asking the last one!) Well all these questions will be answered below with phun phacts!

Fact #1: The Internet exists as a material yet immaterial thing made up of quasi invisible waves like ghosts or Elvis. This similairty to the structure of ghosts means that often times ghosts get stuck in the Internet. So next time your having computer difficulties just remember it's a tortured soul of the dead screaming endlessly due to seeing your sick fetish porn!

Fact #2: The Internet is hosted in a six foot ball in Sweden, if you chop the sphere in half, then half the Internet will not be able to access the other half and vice versa.

Fact #3: The Internet is dangerous so don't go on it at night!

Fact #4: People get around the Internet by surfing so you should try to shove yourself and a surfboard into your computer screen.

Fact #5: Remember to ddos the cci into Unix mainframe to cause a cyberspace vector in the main Sci servo.

Fact #6: Just like how the hulk gets stronger as he gets matter, your comment on an Internet arguments, point becomes stronger the angrier it seems. So to have a good argument try swearing typing in ALL CAPS, ajd calling your opponent racial and homophobic slurs.

Fact #7: If you don't want to seem old don't ue the following words, information super highway, cyberspace, or catheter.

Fact #8: Just like humans computers can get viruses, so if your computer is having problems and it's not a ghost then your computer has violence. Diseases can spread through human to computer through sneezing, coughing, or unprotected cybersex. To fix this try pouring medicine on your computer's hard drive.

Fact# 9:You're somewhere in Indonesia and the prostitutes name was Cindy.