How to do things #1:How to catch a bullet!

       Hi I suppose you, the nonexistent reader, is confused on how this is different from Daily Advice. I would be confused two, as both of them have words, and involve numbers. However the daily advice posts are things that you use to protect you from dangers and communists, while this is for how to have 1337 skillz (the poor spelling makes me kewl). Today we are going to learn how to catch a bullet in the comfort of your home,backyard, or meth covered shantytown.

1. Find a box for your bullet to live in, to find a good box try to look for signs of feces, animal sex, or hard drugs.

You may have to fight off hobos for the box.

2. Poke a hole in the box with a knife or chainsaw so the bullet can breathe. If you don't have any of those check your stash of halloween candy for razor blades, trust me you'll find one.

3. Go outside and find a war, now to you wars may sound like exotic things done in places with brown people, but that's not true! In fact you can probably find a war in your backyard if you just look under a rock enough times.

Pictured above: a war.

4. Once you have found a war remember to put on a condom/take birth control pills so you're protected. Once your safe find a bullet!

5.Pick the bullet up, and put it in the box.

6.Congratulations you've just caught a bullet, now go tell all the voices in your head when they're done telling you to kill everything!

Note: This post could not have been made without my friend Ben who came up with the idea which I then modified and expanded with his permission. This is why it's funnier than usual. Ps Ben has a thrash metal band which you should check out, I forgot what it's called but it's probably along the lines of Viking Fight Satan Kill Party.